READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
