so that wasnt chicken after all
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
