How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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