My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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