I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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