If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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