so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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