Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
