Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
