I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
