i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
