i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
