is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think a kid would responsible me up
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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