you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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