can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize