My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
