I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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