need another drink. this is the easiest way
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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