Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wish I only lived at night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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