Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
