I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
