Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
