I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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