Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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