I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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