just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
