YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
