i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
