I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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