I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
