Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
