My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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