I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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