I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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