Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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