Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How does it feel to date your dad?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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