Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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