Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
