We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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