He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
