dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
