doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
