i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
