Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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