Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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