So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Operation Purity has been aborted
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
