in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
