if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
