we're chasing vodka with high fives
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
