i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
