Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize