Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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