so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
