these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
