How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize