I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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