they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
