he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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