I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
